Write A Letter To Your Loved Ones
There's this friend I used to see much more often some time ago, and due to a series of circumstances (first of all, me living abroad) it's become very hard to see each other.
It's one thing to keep in touch online (most of my friendships were born through the internet, to be fair!), but when you meet in person semi-regularly you start missing the little things. Drinking coffee together and going "this one's on me". Eating out and sharing a dish you both want to taste but wouldn't finish on your own. Ah, if I went on I'd probably keep on rambling about food, so let's keep this part short.
I believe love is a feeling, but mostly an action. Some kinds of love are kept alive by structure. If you love someone, you have to cherish your bond and keep it alive, and it's easier said than done. If people were candles lit through acts of love, I think it would be fair to put them out gently for a while if you're out of the house and don't want to risk a house fire. If you're into aroma candles you know you might not use them every single day, but you have to take care of them to avoid damage. It's a bit like that, although comparing people and relationships to candles is a bit short-sighted. Let's not dwell too much on the metaphor.
When you still love someone and a system falls apart, you gotta restructure. I've had to do so with a lot of people lately; with some worked, with others not so much still (and it's hard!). But one thing I got into the habit of doing, especially since I moved away, is writing letters.
I haven't written that many, actually! But said friend is someone I consistently sent some back and forth, all while speaking normally online. Some things we didn't mention in our everyday conversations, because they were meant for letters: a monthly surprise, not to be spoiled. You might not realize it, but sending letters abroad is usually pretty cheap! And you don't even need to go to the post office to do so. It's a simple way to neatly package a fraction of your love in tangible form and let it fly through the mailing system. Plus, most of us don't get anything exciting in the mail: spam, bills, a traffic ticket from who knows where1. Have you ever gotten a postcard from a friend on holiday? I think letters are much nicer, but the feeling when you receive them is pretty much the same.
Other than the surprise of receiving one2, just writing down something on paper is plain nice. Of course I'd say that as a journaling enthusiast, but come on! Writing doesn't expire: you can read it all you want. Could you do the same on an instant messaging service, or an email? Of course, but the same message conveyed through someone's handwriting seems a bit more special, even if that person's thoughts are the same. Plus, you can be messy! You can add stickers! You can print out images and glue them, or fold and send an origami monster. You can write sideways to fit in more stuff, you can pick a cute letter paper, or you could even make your own. You could design the whole thing! Anything that fits, you can fit it in!
I've mostly gushed about the physical (again, journaling girlie), but I think there's value in long form, slow communication too. It's a different kind of talking, and while it's silly to think we should stop chatting altogether3, I think sending each other these kinds of messages unlocks a special something that's easy to overlook otherwise. It's kind of like code messages, or when you threw a paper message at your friend during class at school, careful not to be caught by the teacher. Hey, that's a letter too! Maybe not the best example when I speak of long form. For that, I might suggest trying out emails if you're really opposed to physically mailing out a letter. Even better if write it and scan it, or maybe you're a digital artist and want to flex your design muscle by making it all in your favourite software. As I said, I love journaling so it comes off pretty easily to me, to express myself in a more traditional way. Wouldn't it be nice if you could do the same yourself?
Mi dispiace ma non riesco a non pensare a Via Brombeis.↩
You can also write letters and hide them in your friend's bag when you meet up: same awe, zero issues with postal services.↩
No one would argue that verbal communication in real life is somehow wrong, and that's been the fastest way we've talked to each other since forever!↩