Svuotapensieri
I've recently started keeping a Zibaldone.
I was originally looking into commonplace books, but those are a bit too structured for my taste: you're supposed to categorize stuff and refer to it through an index. I keep a music notebook in which I take and reference notes I write down when I'm studying theory and such, but there are few other fields in which I need that level of organization; what I needed, frankly, was a physical inbox of sort where to just jot down all sort of things I come across. My brain has become heavy with all sorts of facts and "I'll check it out later", and I just ended up scattering all that among saved Instagram reels, private chats and voice messages with myself, rogue post-its under my keyboard. And, of course, the back of my mind: that's where they weigh the most, and that's also where their form is most mysterious and ephemeral. A vague recollection of a bread recipe I can't remember where I've heard of.
Enter the Zibaldone. But, Zibaldone sounds way more serious than it is, or at least it does to someone who only used to think of Leopardi when hearing the word.
I never liked Leopardi when I was in school. I sure am not going to pick the same name he used for his stupid notebook.
(Regrettably, I might read again his works in adult age and change my mind. But not today.)
Enter the Zibaldone Svuotapensieri. Now, this is how I usually refer to it, but I did think of what English name would fit. It's a reinterpretation of the Italian "Svuotatasche", which means "Pockets Emptier" and is a tray of sort at the entrance of houses in which you put keys, coins... looking for various adaptations in different languages has led me to believe that this thing I thought was a universal concept is, in fact, not so universal.
So, from "Thoughts Emptier" you get "Svuotapensieri". Easy. Nice. Rolls off the tongue. "Thoughts Emptier", however, fucking sucks. I've came up with Gedankeleerer in German (and ended up learning two new words in one shot, nice), but picking the same exact etymology for English hasn't helped at all. I've seen that svuotatasche are sometimes referred to as "coin trays", but "Thoughts Tray"... doesn't make much sense, does it? It's not a tray. It's a notebook.
But I just can't call it "Thoughts Notebook". There's no gusto. Where's the love? Yuck.
So, for now, it's just Svuotapensieri and you gotta deal with it.
It has honestly helped a lot, ever since I started using it. And I don't even use it that much, just when I want to offset a thought and want to be sure it's in a safe place. Sometimes I take the notebook in my hands and flip through the pages... my notes are brief and to the point, so it's way easier on the mind than scrolling through 10 saved reels, or having to read a list on my phone and get jumpscared by a notification I don't want to deal with now.
Ahhh, analog! How I've missed you! I write down on a blog on the internet.
Why am I going on about all this, anyway? Because it's also how I want to treat this blog. I'm a big journaling girlie (it's a state of mind, girlies are not bound by age), and lately it's been particularly intimate and comforting. Just me and the page. Online, it's just not the same.
But I used to like blogging. It's how I met my wife! I'd like to try it out again, just putting out thoughts with no schedule nor set theme. Micro-blogging used to satisfy that need, but nowadays I feel like I need to speak less but for longer. Sometimes.
I'm also trying to figure out a lot of things I didn't let myself indulge in for many years, so I think it's a very good time to be introspective. I'll probably write another post or two about it when I feel like it.
My studio has windows on two sides, and there's a big tree in front of one. Sometimes I sit on my inflatable armchair (the IKEA Bränboll is way more comfortable than it looks) and look at the birds coming and going. Some days, they hop on my windowsill, act cute for a while and then fly away again. It's silly, but it makes me feel lucky. They're just doing their thing, but it's still a meaningful thing to witness, for me. I'd like to be like a bird, living my life without feeling the need to perform for some human behind the glass.
That's the kind of thing I'm thinking about now, at least.
EDIT: Might as well share some pictures of the Svuotapensieri. I think it's cute!
