Art Doesn’t Lie
Prompted by this post my friend wrote that resonated so hard with me I felt a shockwave inside. Also mildly related to my previous one, though it's more of a prelude than this one is a sequel.
Assuming "Art is X" feels like pushing my definitions and sensibilities to someone else, which is something that makes me deeply uneasy when I'm on the receiving end, so I guess I can only talk about my own feelings in the matter. I write, compose, draw, and make art in general for two reasons mainly: because I feel the urge to, and as a means of communication.
Right now I think I'm pretty good at communicating. It's hard as hell, but I've put a lot of effort into learning how, since I used to suck. I still struggle and it hurts a lot when it doesn't work (something that's normal, but I have trouble accepting). Making art has always been easier: both to connect with others, but also myself. Something I've lost sight of for a long time and only regained it recently, but that's another matter.
One thing about me is that I really dislike lying, even when it's not a big deal. Omitting things hurts sometimes, and being honest (and feeling free to be so) makes me more at ease. I really don't like when I have to lie.
Omitting, though, is not lying. It just feels like it is to me. If I'm not being honest, I might get misunderstood, so I need to explain myself better. But if my being is tied to how others perceive me, and they need to perceive me right, then I can't hide anything ever. Everyone needs to know, otherwise I'm not even there. I get stuck in a spiral of explanations and corrections that get out of control too fast for me to correct them.
I need to be me even when no one is looking.
But art makes it easier. I can put it out there and I don't need to be present. It might be misinterpreted, but it won't be done to my face. And if I don't lose sight of the other reason why I make art, connecting to myself, I can exist even when no one is looking at it. Because I am the one who does, and I'm the one who decides.
Even engaging with other people's art makes me more at ease, because there's no rush in it. And, most of all, art doesn't lie. I might be naive in saying something so surely about all art that's ever been made, but I can't conceive any kind of art that's not been made by putting at least a tiny piece of self into it.
I believe one's heart can never die, and it lives through the art they make. If you don't feel like yourself anymore, the things you make will still reflect the heart you think you've lost. It's unkillable and it lives on through what you leave behind when you're not there. It might get misinterpreted, sure, but its form is still there. And you can't hide it.
I find that incredibly comforting.